If the frigid partner is not interested in getting better, they may actually be witholding sex to control you, and just using a low libido as an excuse. What would you like to do together today? I realize this is an old thread but I could write a book on this! So how would you like to marry a man then have him lock you in a bedroom, feed you clothe you. Situations like the one above are not uncommon. I would say that a lack of respect is the cause of her frigidity, but that some other cause or causes -- money issues, not being assertive with her, physical attractivness, etc. Anyway, two mental health professionals have told me that I'm not doing anyone, including our 12 year old daughter, any favors and we'd all be better off if we split up.
He stayed out late, busied himself at home and remained glued to the television set in the evening until he could assume that the wife was now asleep. If only her husband would take a quick shower, or rub her shoulders a little, or sweep the floor once, the ice-cold frigidity will melt like snow on a warm spring day. It did stimulate us for a while but the frequency dropped off again and after 18 months of frustration over my desire and her lack of, she stopped the shots. Sex is a physiological need? First married sex was ok sex maybe once a week, both of us were working at the time. In the course of this development, the less stable and sturdy boys may give up aggressiveness altogether. I do not disagree that this is a major problem for a lot of people, men as well as women. However, over the years my wife has been steadily loosing interest.
We dated quite awhile, and I was really afraid, but we finally did have sex. It was his feelings about his me or our relationship and he was going to work through it in his own time. What I am reading out of this is that you require more than just sex, you actually want the physicality of two people. I have always thought if a woman won't take care of her man, then no one should complain how he takes care of himself. And this is only natural.
If I may take things a little further, I have come to believe that most frigid women really do have a sex drive. My husband does not have any sexual problems just that he is a controlling miserly jerk that uses sex as a weapon. Rather than spinning these crazy conspiracy theories about how women and their therapists are plotting to emasculate you, you ought to consider that if you base your relationships on deep and mutual respect, then you probably won't end up throwing temper tantrums to get your way. But, being controlled by someone else is abusive. First of all, she has never ever mentioned anything like that, though I wouldn't be surprised if she was simply keeping it from me.
The other dad wanted his daughter so he could avoid making child support payments. For years I stayed for my two kids. Thinking back I know realize this has been an ongoing problem since the beginning of our marriage, only then it used to be about her refusal to see a doctor about her vaginismus or let me go down on her to help turn her on. I feel guilty when its over. At this point, maybe I'm just not man enough for her, I can accept that. I just don't think I can keep feeling the love necessary to make her bloom when I feel so empty and rejected, and frankly, why should I be in love with someone who cares so little about my needs, even when I've sacrificed and done so much? As a woman who has experienced low libido, I can tell you that for me it came from two areas, which I share as ideas for you to explore with your wife. Two days later I found out that she was pregnant.
I would love to do a do over. It was expected because she was so sexually repressed and alcohol worked to remove repression. Life is down right long and tough and throw in marriage. So what should I do? Now that we have presented these common feminine views of sex we now to need to measure these views against the Scriptures as we should all our beliefs about life. One last thing for now, sex with someone who feels obligated is pretty much as satisfying as being with a prostitute or masturbating.
I am kind of hesitant about counseling, for her sake. The only problem was that I was giving him sex the way he said he wanted it every single night, and it still wasn't enough. I would focus on this and what you can do to remove the unknowns. If anything, you will read scintillating tales of people not having sex. I have given what i can, only to be told i'm inadequate.
But I'm not 30 or 40 anymore, and she doesn't even pretend. For help, see Related Pages Receiving Divine Power to be a Lover These webpages must not be used as weapons to try to get a partner to change. In the last year I changed jobs and met an amazing girl at work. Love making is for me a union of the soul. Defend her if anyone speaks negatively about her.
Imo, to address the issue of Iambren's post, the manner of communication matters. I agree with True Vision. It truly does touch on all of these areas. . I didn't get married until I was 28, and had plenty of lovers who had no complaints about my performance, but how can you perform with a woman who has never given oral sex sick! But here in Proverbs 5 we see that God is showing us that sex is a need on a very personal level for a man in comparing it to water. After more months of this another talk with the same results.
Does your wife want to change? Do you want to live like this forever? In other words — in the Biblical model of marriage a woman seduces or sexually entices her husband to come to his well and drink of the waters of her body and by doing this she intoxicates him, or ravishes him with her sexual love. In making a woman feel loved, a hug not intended to lead to anything, is worth twenty passionate kisses when is sex on the agenda. Although I enjoyed the sex, it has always been work. But it will be better for you if you have no expectations of it happening soon. It is well known that husbands, too, can be frigid. Find the right therapist to help her.