Your situation subscribed exactly what I was getting myself into, although we thankfully have not been married or had children. He kept reminding me that pretty soon my son will not need me anymore. I've read some of the comments below and a lot of them are my life. I continuously tell him that he is mean, evil and cold hearted. Before the divorce I started going thru the files. He has spoken untruths about me behind my back, he has never seemed to be by my side or even on my side, he only touches me when he wants sex, I have never even heard him ask me if I am ok. Secret number 1: Only a narcissist finds sheer pleasure in competing to outsmart another in the use of cruel- or chaos-causing tactics.
We both drank too much. His anger at everything seems so irrational and everyone around him, including me, is at fault. He constantly says how I am at fault, how he cleans so much better, how he is a great guitar player who is going to win a grammy. They can explain how it works for them. Being together 17 years married and me dependent even on his cooking , I know that no matter his mood state, when I am unwell he shows up immediatelly, and yes, I am well aware that feeds his needy ego. I haven't been emotionally fulfilled or had my feelings justified for 7 years.
Some narcissistic traits, when used appropriately with personal boundaries, make for exceptional people. I am done doing for a man who does nothing for me. I wish he were always nasty so it would be so much easier to leave. One time, amazed that he was back, I demanded to know why, based on his history, I should even consider it. The idea of having to go through that takes my breath away. He does what he wants. This action is likely for their own gain.
Again, refusing to accept blame would escalate into terror, rage, false imprisonment, physical abuse. He does not handle it well when I want to spend time with my kids. I take full care of the kids and they adore me they cannot relate to him. Embrace the truth and move on! Still waiting for a reply to a posted comment or advice request? I thank God for my 14 year old or I would not be here today. I still love him and it broke my heart to think of my family being torn apart.
I am a bit of a hopeless romantic and believe we got married for the sake of being able to try out our relationship without so many overbearing military eyes on us. He has made me go from a self-confident woman to a person I second-guess all the time. I have been married to a narcissist for 25 years. I don't feel comfortable around him anymore and I have been getting better at saying no. Now the shits starting to hit the fan and my stomach is churning.
The hardest part is that he can be so nice and generous at times. Here are 5 Super Powers you will need in order to flourish behind the scenes of your relationship with a narcissist. He had already taken my other medication. The narcissist will stay and play forever, if the victim allows them to. What if we all prayed the same prayer together and heal all our narcissistic spouses. Only another narcissist would have something to gain from do-or-die competitions, which in effect cause suffering for all involved! The only thing you control is yourself. I finally had to work on myself because I had become suicidal.
A person could certainly have worse qualities! That can boost his ego even more and make him feel more supreme. Send help for me nd pray for my direction nd strength in this marriage. Breaks promises and obligations repeatedly. This was the best thing for myself and I suggest this to anyone that is currently married or getting divorced from a narcissist. I have felt alone but now I know I am not. The power to be detached. I refuse to give any more energy to this man when he decides to go on his rants about what I did wrong,etc.
I am sure that is why she rages so much when she is at home. She knows that it takes a real man to date a woman like her but after all the shit she has been through, she still has faith in love. If I find something out of place, I either leave it there or put it back without a word. Do not expect dialogues, but learn to be a captive audience for long monologues and diatribes. Please give me some encouraging words to be able to do what I need to do. I began to slowly realize that if I was really so awful why did I have such great kids and a great relationship with them? Pointing the finger in any relationship will cause another to get defensive. He is very jealous, I am asked to stay home and help him with his businesses but he dies not give me a salary, he does not give me cash but I get credit cards and he monitors all my purchases big and small.
He even gets angry sometimes when I forget to mention him when I talk about something I am working on or something I have done. I just learned recently that he is a narcissist. A very petty incident had occurred that made me pick up that immediately. My ex-husband is wonderful with people on a casual basis. I want to confront him and tell him the truth. Get the tools you need to take care of yourself.
Which, basically, was another way of feeling sorry for him because I wanted to be the one who gave him the healthy, loving relationship he claimed he desired. A narcissistic person deals with the minimum of these spirits selfishness, controlling, deceitful, split personalities, low temperament and tolerance, often addicts of drugs, gambling or other habits. Of course, if you had known this in advance, you would not have entered the relationship. He tells me I am crazy. Just the two cents, First, this is not about you or your daughter. Every time I tried to leave he would find me and manipulate me into thinking he would change which eventually ended up being my fault too. And on top of all this hes a narcissist.