Some people are so depressed and psychologically burdened by the stigma that they lose motivation to date at all. Anyone who has slept with 3 or 4 people, as Diosa noted, has most likely been exposed to The Herp and may quite possibly be an asymptomatic carrier of it. Just gotta say fuck it and move on then! Stigma is what keeps people from chatting about herpes the way they discuss allergies—we associate genital herpes with liars, cheaters, and the rampantly promiscuous. You say they are shaming you and insulting you by coming to you with their questions. After the initial shock of having it goes away, it really, honestly is not that big of a deal. Yet, her potential partner denied having it and refused to be tested, and their relationship imploded.
Why would I risk getting a life-long disease for someone I just met even if they seem to be a nice person? And you want to get sexual and intimate. I turned that hate at situation inward and got really depressed and luckily have a great social support group and amazing therapist. You know herpes is the virus behind lots of things, right? Maybe ask them to tell you more about the virus and what it's like to live with it. Through very radical alternative treatments oral hydrogen peroxide, total health , I've been able to get it into remission for 2 years and counting. That alone speaks volumes about her character and who she is.
I met a really nice and very pretty Italian girl and have been on a few dates with her. Genital herpes is very common. Asymptomatic viral shedding is a real thing, and I know that someone with herpes can theoretically transmit at any time. But again, the effects of it's influence on you mental and emotional state is entirely dependent on how you come to terms with it. But no, I would not rule someone out due to herpes. I've had it for almost 30 years. After several years, he has not gotten infected.
I'm not interested in promiscuous people. Talk about your concerns with a professional or someone you trust. Don't read too deep it to the hype. If i go much further south all i can find for breakfast is menudo! Throw in a significant number of type 1 genital infections and that percentage is higher still. When your partner has an outbreak, avoid any contact with her sores.
It's going to make the pool of people willing to date you in the future smaller - even if you don't get bad symptoms. I have an image of people who can't find dates elsewhere who don't have herpes using that site as a last resort. Herpes I believe I most likely contracted it from my mother as a child. Getting tested is critical especially because many people who have herpes do not know they have it. We moved kinda fast but I knew him from my past and thought it was safe to tell him right away.
The thing that a lot of people don't understand about herpes is that they aren't going to kill you, and they are pretty easily controlled. I have Herpes 2 and am currently dealing with shame around it. Agree on some boundaries with your date so that you both feel safe. He felt less pressure to decide immediately whether or not he was comfortable proceeding, and I felt less like a freak asking someone to decide if sleeping with me was worth contracting an incurable illness. Now remember that it's possible for an unknowing asymptomatic carrier to infect an entire group of people without any of those folks developing symptoms yet still spreading it and I think it's easy to see how easily it spreads even given how preventable it is. By now you can probably guess what my answer to the question would be. At the begining when I got herpes, I was ashamed to tell others that I have herpes and there was an ex who broke up with me after I came out to him.
Even if every other single thing about them was perfect. And yeah, asking you in particular about it is callous and insensitive. Her openness put me at ease and it wasn't a problem. If you cannot do that, or have let the harassment you have endured stop you from doing that, or negatively color your view, then why did you start the movement in the first place? So, destressing or curing mental ailments will control the breakouts but the virus is still there and therefore is still contageous. I had one boyfriend then met my husband after my ex gave it to me. Talk to someone who doesn't know her, or someone you know won't repeat your conversation. But to us, it is dehumanizing.
When you are properly armed with facts regarding the herpes virus, how it affects the woman you are dating, and how it will influence your dating experience, you are more prepared to make a decision regarding continuing your relationship. Because herpes has such an exaggerated social stigma, admitting this is sometimes quite embarrassing. An outbreak can ruin picture days, job interview, all sorts of social occasions, and aren't easily covered up. Which I don't think she took it well because I get a call from the friend that set us up basically calling me names and that I was shallow for letting a girl like her get away which confused the hell out of me because she knows what kind of guy I am and that I would never be sexually active with someone who has contracted an std. Cold sores are spread by kissing and oral sex, but sharing things like utensils and towels can also put you at risk. So that's where most new infections come from. Then take a look and see how people stigmatize him or her.
Make your partner feel comfortable. Some help us, some hurt us, many are entirely neutral. Under normal circumstances it stays latent, the body's immune system controls it from surfacing. Still, since to the best of my knowledge I don't have genital herpes, I would be very reluctant to get involved with someone who clearly had it. It's very hard to contract this from towels or shared utensils. If you want more info: check out Healthboards.
Fact is, most people that have it don't have a clue. The facts on herpes are actually quite clear when you do research online: herpes transmission is not that simple, particularly when both parties make an effort to use condoms, antivirals, dental dams, and so forth. So herpes is not just a skin condition, its a true ailment one must live with that is painful and even sometimes debilitating. Unless they have been bloodtested and shown to be negative, I'd assume the people who have been sleeping with someone with herpes for a long time and haven't shown symptoms are just lucky enough to be asymptomatic carriers. I have started educating myself on it and talking to people who do have it. The cost is far greater than just the disease itself. And if it seemed like too big a hurdle to overcome, then we could go our separate ways.